WHY COACHING FATHERS MATTERS
Man Up has a vested interest in seeing fathers succeed.
As we finish National Mentoring Month, we will focus this week on why coaching fathers matters.
1. COACHING FATHERS MATTERS BECAUSE WE REPEAT WHAT WE KNOW.
One of the most common themes we see when coaching fathers who have temporarily lost their children to the “system” is that their fathers weren’t around when they were growing up. For the first decade of a child’s life, Mom and Dad are the most important people in the world. Love, nurture, a sense of belonging and self-worth are formed within a child, whether positive or negative, by what is experienced at home, within the family unit. For many children, self-worth and having a place to belong (family) are distant realities because the people who were supposed to love and care for them effectively vanished. If not for outside intervention, children without committed fathers are more likely to reproduce what they have experienced. If we are to stop generational fatherlessness, we must model fatherhood to those who truly desire to break the cycle.
2. COACHING FATHERS MATTERS BECAUSE CHILDREN BENEFIT IN EVERY WAY.
The stats on fatherlessness are absolutely staggering. Almost every single ill that our society faces today can be tied to father absenteeism. Higher rates of criminal activity, teenage pregnancy, suicide, poor grades, dropout rates, and incarceration all have one single common denominator: there is no father in the home. The opposite statistics are just as true. Children are far more likely to thrive in school when Dads participate in their educational process. Children have a stronger sense of self-worth and belonging when Dads are active in the home. Mental health issues are lessened. Interestingly enough, studies even show that the presence of other males (non-fathers) can be as effective as having a Dad.1 We coach fathers because the empirical data shows that children need good men in their lives.
3. COACHING FATHERS MATTERS BECAUSE FATHERLESSNESS IS EXPENSIVE.
It costs the federal government nearly $40,000 yearly to keep a father incarcerated.2 A 2012 study estimates it costs our communities $210,012 for every child who is taken from the home and placed in foster care.3 Most of the costs are in lost productivity, as both the parents and the child participate in case plans, therapy and treatment, court proceedings, and lost wages. It may seem obvious to those who grew up in traditional, stable families, but just because we know what to do doesn’t mean we can always execute on that knowledge. Many of the costs associated with fatherlessness stem from inefficiencies in the “system,” but according to this famous Dad, the system isn’t the problem: “It starts in the home,” so says Denzel Washington in his interview HERE.
It isn’t hard to connect the dots and see that when Dad steps out on his responsibilities as father, the burden and the consequences of that decision falls on the community. We coach fathers because communities are stronger when Dads are in the picture.
Interested in coaching fathers impacted by the foster care system? Click here to sign up for a brief online orientation.
– The Man Up Team
